This is a HOT & steaming blog, today....To let my readers know, it's not just the "sex" that I am contributing only when I write about it. It's more than that so keep on reading...!
If this sounds too "HOT" for you, stay out of the kitchen as they say. If "SEX" is a topic you are embarrassed about and don't want to read about it now, stop here and close the article so that I will not have to put a mirror in front of your sexuality by sharing my own journey, today!
By the way, there's nothing I won't write about in the next 93 days, as long as I can pull the words and insights from my own experiences.
Shall we go on? ...
Being married before, I knew going into my second marriage, it was going to be different! :)
There are many other ingredients of showing LOVE that we put into our marriage to keep the butterflies around... To keep it loving, fun, meaningful, passionate and HOT! When there are other languages of love and/or combinations of them in any relationship (especially for us, women), SEX becomes a fun way to express that LOVE we all hold!
God created us all to be a sexual, sensual being. It's a gift from above!!! Thank you, LORD!!!!! :)
It's so true in my marriage and holy smokes; it does win kudos in every other area of life your James and me!!! I had to learn, SEX is the most SACRED and the most FUN part of being married! I didn't know that for a very very long time as a woman and as a lover until I own my own sexual maturity to celebrate, to play and to share that strong aura of being a part of which I am... a sexual, sensual woman!
Sex means a lot of things for each person and how he/she holds S.E.X for them!
Admittedly, I've had my share of major sexual issues, growing up! The forbidden thing happened to me...Sex was STOLEN from me prematurely and it was used as a manipulation over my fear of " not being wanted or being loved in a home"...!
So, I started out, in this journey, holding sex as something dirty and not sacred at all. It was something I had to do and to "block it out" and "disappear" during the act until it was over. My curse for my quilt!
Moreso, I learned to escape through sex in my adult years! It became my addiction! I wanted sex when I was happy. I wanted sex when I was angry. I wanted sex when I was bored. I wanted sex when I was sad. I wanted sex when I was in a numb stage too long. I wanted to "feel" something, anything again, to just know I am still here in the human race. To feel another body's warmth against my skin... shamelessly to feed my ego and to feed my path, my curse I only knew.
It became a drug for me, something like "getting a hit" from sex. No feelings attached. I took from it, as I will not give anything back from my soul into it! I got the mechanics down to give pleasures and to get pleasures. Forget about the sacredness part of sex in those days. It was a vice from a sexual abuse victim's and/ or from any low self-esteem woman's perspective.
Sex, oddly enough; became my confidence, my shield, entering into my many dysfunctional relationships, affairs and the games of manipulations with men. I hold the control over not letting any man control me, especially in bed; ever again as it was "stolen" from me. Unaware or not wanting to own my many "warped" sexual issues, I entered my first marriage in hopes to escape my past, looking for home & love, but that came up short. Eventually, it destroyed that marriage. I admit to be responsible for 50% part of my fail marriage but it does take two for a marraige or a relationship to make it or break it. Both partners must own his/her role in it.
I always ask, " What part did "I" play in the "success" or "failure" of any relationship or situation?" Until we are totally honest with ourselves, we can not be "free" to the mind of our own ego to keep us living "small" or keep us " trapped" in our own hidden fears and we will never break our bad cycle!
I share from my heart that I came from a very unhealthy view about sex to reach to this stage in my passionate, HOT sexual marriage today! :) I didn't switch over night. I had to care front my many demons through personal development courses, counseling and self-growth! Most important step, I had to look at myself in the mirror! My book was my mirror to "come to terms with my past life." That book also brought me ONE reader to see my heart, among my many stories of my journey told in those 315 pages. He married, wanted my heart, hidden inside of my many facades and the many stories being told. He saw me with my untouched heart, not my circumstances!
My marriage to my husband, James, is the only man who understood, with his kindness, gentleness, respect and unyielding love to help bring out my HEART that I’ve hidden so deeply in the abyss within my sensual being.
I don't live in a bubble as I travel, live and flirt with and within our society to say I have had outside offers from men to "play," still today. BUT, my past cycle has been broken. I am not the same person nor I, no longer a victim to be lured of "having another a hit." I FINALLY found and claim my sacred gift to being "high" for a lifetime on a daily basis with my husband as I OWN my body, my heart and my sexuality from a deeper place of forgiveness and that transend my soul into a higher level of vibrations with life!
Only, In The Arms of Love, (c) in our marriage that my sexual liberation came alive spiritually and it allows me to accept all the FUN in all that sensations my body feels. And it wants to PLAY with the only man who taught me love, marriage and "forever." I totally trust this man and that my heart opens to LIFE. I no longer detach from sex but that both our hearts are in the middle and alive in the act of sex, sharing our sacred love with our lovemaking.
Love is the KEY to HOT SEX to sustain for more than just one nightstand or a couple years! Love manifests HOT sex in a marriage for a lifetime! Love brings forth ecstasy to LIFE!
Otherwise, it's only the mechanics of sex that will keep you addicted to it. It's just a "hit” or another "high" that keep you seeking for more and looking for love in all the wrong places!
Listen to your heart and be true to it and it will cue you along your path to finding it!
Your inner voice will call you out with warning signs of "cold', "warm" "HOT" to get where you should be! :)
Be brave and make a change. For anything to change, you must be willing to change yourself first!
Shhhhhhhhh..................... What is your heart telling you now?
With Love & Light,
Hai
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