Part 2...
My headmaster died in 1997, and because I was living with many disappointments and falling short of my personal expectations to “give back”, I hung on to his last encouraging words, “You can only do what you can do with your part, from where you are”
My headmaster died in 1997, and because I was living with many disappointments and falling short of my personal expectations to “give back”, I hung on to his last encouraging words, “You can only do what you can do with your part, from where you are”
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| I continued the same message, 30 years later! |
His words gave me courage to plunge ahead, and fueled my passion to finish my book, without fear to expose my life with raw honesty, in the only version of the story I knew to write ~ my own life & memories as I experienced them, including the good, the bad, and the ugly.
In 1999, my marriage failed and the family unit I wished for my entire life was gone. Undoubtedly, it was the most difficult time of my “American” life, but my dream of rebuilding the orphanage kept me focused to do what I must do and helped me survive the unraveling emotions of divorce.
Balancing my time as a single Mom, my dream to complete this journey helped me stay focused and productive. My writing time gave me peace during this difficult time in my life because I felt I was living with a purpose,…ultimately, a purpose to help others in need.
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| The original flyer about our orphanage in Vietnam in 1968-69 to get donations. |
In 2003, I completed and published my autobiography, and went on tour to sell books and raise money to realize my dream. At last, my dream was going to become a reality! :)
After months of doing a book tour, and attending many prearranged speaking engagements across the county, I was exhausted. And even though I was physically exhausted, I was emotionally vibrant, and for the first time in many years, feeling content that I was giving 100% of my life for something good. Unfortunately, the feeling of emotional peace that I so desperately needed was not to last.
After a few months, the numbers started to role in, and it became clear that financially, my book WAS A FLOP! : (
It was a complete FAILURE, as well as a very expensive lesson as I had invested all the money I had into this dream. After printing 10,000 books, and spending $150,000 in business expenses going toward PR firms & a distribution company in New York, I learned the cruelty of the literary industry, and what it takes to survive in the public sector to compete in the speaking & literary business.
On top of it all, the vehicle that was to help me make the necessary money to "live out my dream with a purpose" ended up being the vehicle that put me into bankruptcy! Yikes!
The financial rewards of 5 years of work to publish and promote my book were not there. I felt like a failure, but even more so, I was exhausted after this long, stressful but ironically, personally rewarding process.
But ones life journey is filled with many twist and turns, and the bottom of this valley was soon to take a positive turn.
Check in tomorrow to see the silver lining in this financial and dream busting disaster.
Part 3 to be continued...
With Love & Silver Lining,
Hai
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